Not You...But Maybe A Friend?
In case you're wondering, today was a lot more "chill" than last Friday was. But I have to continue with these stories because a triad isn't a triad without three. Plus, this next one just does not make sense to me, and maybe someone can help to interpret it.
Okay, so remember: I had just gotten a super crazy voicemail from a lady who was mad at me for mailing a magazine to her dead husband. After listening to her rage-filled mumbles, I thought, "On that note, I'm going to lunch." Since my job is awesome, and I get an hour for lunch, I decided to go to a Target one town over in a quest to find a shirt that was on clearance but out of my size at my local Target.
Bad decision. First, they were also out of that particular shirt. Second, I had another strange encounter that I was forced to over-analyze frequently for days after (without further understanding).
After picking out a few things I wanted to buy, I went to a cashier to checkout. While ringing up my stuff...it happened! She spoke the words that always come before something ridiculous ensues: "This is going to sound weird, but"...(*In my head:* "CRAP!")..."do you know anyone who would want to be on TV?"
Me: *Awkward giggle* "I don't know. On TV for what?"
Cashier: *Ignores question; gives me a quick but visibly disappointed look-over* "Maybe...someone with long hair?"
Let's break this down and analyze the thoughts that my brain was able to muster during this seconds-only conversation:
Thought #1: Be on TV? That could be cool.
Thought #2: Wait, why is a Target cashier asking me if I want to be on TV?
Thought #3: Waaaaait, why is she looking at me like that?
Thought #4: Hey, what's wrong with my hair?! My hair's frickin awesome! (true)
Thought #5: Maybe she's a hairstylist who's going to be on TV for something?
Me: "Are you a hairstylist?"
Cashier: "No. I'm a producer for Fox News. We're looking for women who want to be on TV. I was thinking maybe some friends of yours might be interested?" *Writes something down on receipt and hands it to me* "Here's my number if you know anyone."
Me: "Oh, okay...cool, thanks."
Thought #6: No, not cool.
Thought #7: Wouldn't want to be on Fox News anyway.
Thought #8: WAIT! Why would a producer for Fox News have to also work as a cashier at a Target?!
Nothing that happened during that conversation made any sense. But the most awkward part was when she pretty much said, "You're not really TV material, but you look like you might have friends that are!" Haha! I must admit, though, I do have some pretty good looking girlfriends! And they all mostly have longer-ish hair. If I didn't live half a day away from everyone, I might have passed along the number. But probably not because I'm pretty sure that lady was a giant sack of Target cashier lies. Other than that, she seemed pretty nice. Haha!
This drawing is far from accurate...but hope you like it anyway! It's titled, "Getting Rejected By A Cashier at Target." I know you're jealous by how artsy and complex I am!
Stay tuned for Part Three and maybe something fun and random before that.